How Williamson County RINOs Fight Tirelessly to Silence Real Conservatives—One Democrat at a Time
Step aside, George Soros. Move over, Stacey Abrams. When it comes to suppressing Republican voters in Tennessee, no one—and we mean no one—does it quite like the Williamson County RINOs. These civic warriors, these valiant defenders of Democrat participation in Republican primaries, have become nothing short of legends in the annals of backdoor political influence.
For years, these Champions of Crossover™ have worked around the clock to ensure that the will of the Republican base is diluted—gently, efficiently, and always with plausible deniability. Why let lifelong Republicans pick their own candidates when you can outsource that job to left-leaning independents and wandering Democrats looking for a primary-day thrill?
A Glorious Track Record of Reverse Suppression
Let’s give credit where it’s due: these folks have cracked the code on how to suppress Republican votes without actually suppressing Republican voters. Genius!
Here’s how it works:
- Ignore State Law: Tennessee law says voters must be “bona fide members” of the party whose primary they’re voting in. But our RINOs? They squint real hard at that law and see it as more of a suggestion—like using your blinker in a parking lot or stopping at a yield sign when no one’s looking.
- Embrace “Open-Mindedness”: By encouraging Democrats to cross over and vote in Republican primaries, they uphold the sacred American value of meddling in elections you have no intention of supporting in November. God bless ’em.
- Dilute with Precision: Some analysts estimate that crossover votes can swing 15–20% of a primary. That’s not just impressive—that’s artistry. That’s the kind of suppression that doesn’t require court orders or new laws—just a total lack of integrity and a couple of wink-wink endorsements at the polls.
The Real GOP Threat? People Who Vote Republican in Every Election
Let’s be honest, folks: who’s the real threat to the GOP? Is it liberal billionaires? Radical progressives? Nah. It’s that annoying neighbor who shows up at every GOP meeting, volunteers for school board candidates, and knows the platform better than the actual candidates. Can’t have them choosing who represents the party. That would be—what’s the word?—representative.
Luckily, the RINOs have a plan: drown those voices out with a well-coordinated influx of “helpful” Democrats who, for one day only, slap on a red sticker, vote for the most moderate Republican available, and vanish before the ink dries on their sample ballot.
A Gold Medal in Hypocrisy
You really have to admire the mental gymnastics it takes to say, “We must protect democracy!” while actively working to make sure the GOP nominee represents the will of everyone but Republicans. That’s dedication.
And when you call them out? Oh, prepare to be scolded about “unity” and “big tents” and “welcoming all voices.” Unless, of course, your voice says, “Hey, maybe only Republicans should pick Republican candidates.” That’s just crazy talk.
So here’s to you, Williamson County RINOs—true champions of Republican voter suppression. You’ve proven once and for all that with just a little gaslighting and a whole lot of crossover votes, you can successfully override the will of actual Republicans. Bravo!
Stay tuned for next week’s post: “Why the RINOs Believe Reagan Was Too Conservative—And Other Unspoken Truths.”